


the boy who became the sea

by x_somnio



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Character Death, Doomed Timelines, Drowning, Everything is pain :'), Gen, Homestuck AU, Suicide, Timelines, sburb AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 06:10:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10507884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_somnio/pseuds/x_somnio
Summary: i will sing, i will singuntil i start to forget everything.i will sing, with all of my voiceand if i start to remember, i'll let myself cry.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this work is sort of a vent drabble because i have really not been feeling it at all lately. also might explain my month-long absence ;; i apologize. as the tags read, this work involves suicide, so if you're triggered by that, please take care of yourself instead! i care about you.
> 
> sburb / homestuck au. nate is an heir of time, morgan is a witch of doom. hunter is a thief of space and jillian (hunter's girlfriend) is a sylph of light.
> 
> please comment and leave feedback, whether to help me improve or to tell me you liked it. that would be greatly appreciated. <3

He knew this was doomed.

Nate looked around at his friends once the meteors began raining down from the sky, the cascade seeming to create a stark contrast against the bright blue above them, filled with clouds both wispy and fluffy, and reminded them of cotton candy--

One crashed down behind them, everyone quickly whipping around and bolting so they wouldn't be pelted by burning debris. The checkered ground under their feet rumbled when each meteor made contact with the earth. It crumbled under the weight of it all, some long cracks being formed in the earth under them as if seams that were being pulled apart. 

This was too much for just the four of them, it was  _always_ too much for just the four of them. He'd never liked time travel as a power in games and anime because-- what exactly would he change? In this situation, though...

_it would be the lives of his friends at stake, rather than terrible memories._

Morgan had drawn her weapon, the look of determination on her face masking fear. And Morgan-- she was  _never_ scared. She was a fearless girl in and out, across every timeline he'd seen, she took things head on and did not hesitate, she was fierce-- until now. She never did, until now. Before their final boss he could feel it, her trembling fear, her self-doubt and anxiety. The first time they'd gone through this, he couldn't believe how quickly she'd lost herself to fear-- especially once everyone else was falling.

Hunter was taking a few steps back and had drawn his too, pose sturdy and ready to brace for anything that might come their way. Of course he was. Determined and strong, he'd taken on the role of a tank like in every RPG he'd ever played. Every iteration of Hunter he'd seen had been the same way, only backing down when things really got dicy-- he could feel the terror coming off of him, though. He could hear his teeth chattering already as he bled out, dying on the ground under them.

And Jillian-- Nate had never known her too well, but she looked forward at the approaching final boss, calm, composed, collected-- but her hands trembled with every rumble that echoed in their ears, with every loud crash every time more debris drove into the earth, every time the boss took another step forward in approaching them. He remembered her holding on as best she could, but perishing after falling prey while mourning Hunter.

He grit his teeth and drew his own weapon, though he could feel his palms begin to grow sweaty, he-- he couldn't do this again. He was tired of it. 

He was mindless as his friends and himself rose to battle the boss before them, striking it with every opportunity and using their powers to the best they could. He could hear Morgan's maniacal laughter as she powered herself again, destroying her restraints so she could continue on, though battered and bloody. He could feel the earth rumbling from under his feet as Hunter stole large boulders from their surroundings to launch at their boss, and Jillian joining Nate in opportunity attacks while helping to heal everyone at the same time, but--

everyone had their limits.

Despite his strength as their 'tank,' Hunter had fallen first, just on the cusp of their victory. He could feel it flooding back to him again-- Jillian followed him to the ground, cradling him in her arms as she wept, before she, too, had been taken by the carnage around them. Then-- then-- Morgan getting distracted by Jillian and Hunter perishing, and--

And he was alone again. It was always just him in the end, left to take the final blow. It was unfair. Why was  _he_ the only one left behind? 

The queen's ring fell and he destroyed it under his heel, a flurry of shouts leaving his lips as he let his rage consume him. It was shattered now, bits of gold and gemstone spattered along the seared, checkered land that surrounded him. He looked up, at the now dense, shattered earth around him-- bits of debris still flaming and tears in the planet's surface. He felt crushed under the weight of it all, his own scarred body aching for rest. He turned to his dead friends, his chest constricted by a despair he knew all too well, a despair that followed him across all timelines and taunted him in his solitude. 

Blood smeared across the black-and-white expanse, he approached Morgan, her once-soft forest green god tier clothing now in tatters. The ends of her skirt were frayed and slashed, and blood stained her shirt. Her hood was ragged and worn, and some of her auburn locks were charred, seared by speeding flames in the midst of their fight. Dirt, sweat and grime were smeared across her face, but Nate could still see her beauty. Her dead body was something he'd still hadn't gotten used, to, and every second he spent his heart cried even more, wailing out for his lost love.

The scars on his body spilled blood in place of the tears he could not. But the stinging pain was long gone, replaced by a longing that tightened his chest and made his weary bones falter. He'd seen this too many times but had yet to familiarize himself with it. Tears fell, but even then it was only few. 

He brushed frayed strands of auburn hair out of Morgan's face, the fear still etched in her eyes making him weep even more. Eventually he laid her back down, approaching Hunter and Jillian, and spent his moments mourning before traversing this land. 

Nate couldn't be bothered to go back this time. He was tired of everything, the endless death, the pain that filled his head with static. He'd found a large body of water after a little bit, washing his face free of blood or sweat. He couldn't think, as if his brain was being filled with fog that he couldn't find his way through to a coherent thought. He looked at the expanse of water before him and stood.

He couldn't be bothered to go back in time, he couldn't be bothered to accept victory on his own. 

Everyone had their limits. And this was his. 

Nate heard or saw no other meteors crashing down into the terrain around him, he only felt an eerie stillness-- the entire  _universe_ , he thought, was at a standstill, everything around him holding its breath though nothing would happen next. 

He was the only one left. 

He took a step forward, wading into the cold water, and it stung his wounds, but what did he care? His body got used to the cold as he let himself travel a little further out into the lake, the waves crashing around him with a strange gentleness that made him feel as though the water was cradling him in its arms. Nate let himself sink slowly under the surface, the sunbeams wavering and flickering in the blue around him. He couldn't open his eyes, they'd hurt, but--

There was a half-felt peace as he sank down to the bottom, his chest no longer aching because of his grief. For once, he'd be the one dead-- though it was useless now, as everyone else was dead too. Everything was pointless by now; Why rule their new world as a lone demigod, bogged down by the weight of his grief as their time player, who'd seen a, by now, endless amount of death shared between all of them? 

His lungs were now on fire as his mouth filled with the cool lake water, the water spilling down his throat and into his lungs. He held his throat, drowning, but-- but he didn't want to stop himself. Nate felt the pain in his chest but didn't want to go back up to the surface, he didn't have enough breath to make it up, much less the energy. His muscles failed him as he sank down even more, eyes burning when they shot open. Strange that his body felt as though it was burning like fire in the midst of a lake-- he almost found it  _amusing._

His vision began to blur, either from the water impairing his vision or that he was dying, now. He would have said goodbye if he had anyone to say goodbye to, in this infinite expanse of blue where nobody else existed now but him. He was meaningless now, forgotten and nothing more than an almost-demigod consumed by his own loneliness and pain. 

At least everyone else had died surrounded by everyone else.

Nate was alone here, sinking down deep into the abyss of this lake, and he didn't know when he'd hit bottom. Nobody else existed here but him, he had nobody else but himself. Everyone else had died, so why not complete the circle and die too?

After all, he knew this was doomed.


End file.
